The Fear- Lily Allen

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and I want a fuck load of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them
I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
'Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how were meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
'Cause I’m being taken over by
The Fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers
It’s all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn’t matter cause I’m packing plastic
and that’s what makes my life so fucking fantastic
And I am a weapon of massive consumption
and its not my fault it’s how I’m program to function
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah were on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how were meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
'Cause I’m being taken over by The Fear

Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything is cool as long as I’m getting thinner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how were meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
Cause I’m being taken over by fear

Lil sweetic,

Peeking through your fingers, struggling to get out of your arms to grab the phone, jabbing you on the thigh then falling into your trap to hug me. Gosh, never will these be relived.

TGIF

"What's that?" *points with disgusted face*

"Just chi er yi!"

Miss that. :D Miss waking up to get nagged by Sharfana to bathe. Miss getting laughed at when my roomies tell me what weird things I did at night. Miss playing with my heart out. Miss walking along the streets stinking with smelly tofu & randomly whipping out our phones to snap pictures.
-----------------------------------------------

Something tells me I've been making the wrong decisions & using the wrong way to face up situations. I've been under influence, thanks to my weak mind. Compared to 2 years ago, Im now just a pathetic attempt to succeed.

Succession, what the hell is success?

Is it when you pass all your stupid exams with flying colours, staying at home to moan that you have no friends all day long, eating with the last cleaner who left the school in Yassin, advance to get a great job in life, buy a big mansion & stay with the richest guy for the rest of your life?

Or is it staying out late with friends, flunking your exams, getting high on alcohol at random times of the night, quitting school, getting a mediocre job with average pay, marrying some smelly homeless guy along the street with a cardboard box to live in?

Been thinking about what I want & guess what, I forgot to think about what other people would want. I forgot how it was like to stop thinking about the past & future but live out on the present & nothing but the present. Nothing matters like now. I dont know what I want.

Do you? How will you see yourself in five years time?

You lately.

No mood to sit down to mug properly. Been sleeping in almost every single lesson(totally dead to the world) recently.

Sounds familiar? Yeah, I bet most of us are feeling like this in one way or another. Syf's around the freaking corner. Good luck to us.

Wasnt home last weekend. Would it be the same this coming one? I wonderrrrrrrr! Stupid people in this freaking house. Anyone suffering the same fate? Ah, bullshit.

Consoled these two weeks. :D Thanks to the bloody stupid fat pig, at least I know there will be someone! HAWHAWHAW.

Dumb sore eyes wouldnt go away. As in not literally sore eyes but, bloody painful eyes. Even blinking becomes a chore. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. *whispers under breath* "change specs change specs change specs, curse economic downturn!"

Looking forward to next week. *beams*

LurBbzSx!

Hiiezx ReTarDBaRbIe, iiex am B@rbiied0Ll's friienx , c@ll3d b@rbi3b@be .
S3xiiex & pr3ttti3xz !!!!

Euunos iiexz lurrbsx eu muchi3 muchi3 neh , eu @r3 SuCh @ BiTcHiiexH0rs3xxx .
Euu w@nna bees miiex gans ?

Iiiex c@n pr0tectiex(k0t3x) euu , mieex boiifrienxz (<3<3)>

Iiiiexz LurBbSx Euu G@ns Muuiixzs .

LuRrBs BaRbIeBaBex Staiiex tunies tu www.sayaby.blogspot.com

You are not alone

I was happier too. Face it, everyone was at least 10-40% happier in the past due to our innocence & angle of perspective. I used to yearn to go home everyday. Now I don't even want to face all the insanity just because the humans(or bitches & whores) in my house cannot come to terms with their past.

Auntie Lee Cheng & Gerald arriving in Sg in an around 5 hours. My mum is doomed.

Your not alone because my problems will always persists whereas yours will disappear once your mindset is being rectified & corrected. Unless my mum becomes wiser, I will never have peace. Other than that, Im a happy girl.

Make me happy

The way the pig is sleeping amazes me & makes me smile. HAHAHAHA (& apparently laugh) Funny bitch. :D

Awake & in fear

My life has all along been like my night, movie after movie after movie. After you think it has ended there will always be a beginning all freakishly over again! And you think I'm not tired as well??? Then again, my EQ & IQ are always increasing because of you people at home. I have to be emotionally sensitive to little issues like remembering to smile at him in the morning & say hi when I reach home. It works. Really, my smile & greeting allows them not to fight for an entire day.

I forgot to bring my journal along, that's why Im pouring shit here in my blog. Sorry you guys have to read some lame post I'll post properly once the storm's over -with my prediction, a couple of years later.

Vhatever right. Ah the pig's still sleeping. HAHHAHAHAHAHA. Shall be going out in 5.5 hours.
Good night/morning world.

Finally over again,

Friend's house blogging. Home's has not been a really conducive environment for living things to live in -hold up, it has never been. It's so tiring to hear people say that it'll be okay, but I know it would not(not that it's bad!{:). It makes me feel like a useless bitch when all I can do is look at my mother go through torment day after day, with each passing month. It's so hard to carry on living when you see your mother consoling herself & making the situation deteriorate by saying "what's so different from the other times before?"

Absolute bullshit. Finally I've escaped from the dog hole, tomorrow must return again. Ah fucking bullshit really.

牛顿也吃苹果

Call becks

Things to do over the week:
1)UNSPRAIN MY ANKLE(hai, old)
2)English compre & maths worksheets(7-8 of them) {to be done during camp nights w/ Van!&other mad chiongsters ;D}
3)Get my first 3chapters of Physics facts right(fucking important)
4)Eat & catch up with long time no see friends
5)Back to school for house meeting(alamak Ram)

Things to do over my month, March:
1)Pay up Sunday lessons with Hannah(:
2)Get a rounder sound(omg, yes Im motivated after today's practice)
3)Increase flexibility

Lol, you dont have to read the above, just a reminder for me in case I forget.

1.Eat you up
2.Rainism
(Aiming, aiming, aiming)

WALAUUUUUUUUUU, WHEN CAN I DO STUFF LIKE THAT! *prays really hard determination will break through*

Side effect from laughter

Was walking home from band with Vaahsan & GaryTanWanTan. I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO ME, BUT I WAS LAUGHING FROM SCHOOL TILL I REACHED HOME

G: *said some censored stuff about putting a phone into the pocket of a smelly uniform*
V: "Then the phone got sand"
G & me: "What does this have anything to do with sand???"
V: "Uniform never wash put sand then not smelly already"
G: "Huh really meh!? Is that a myth?"
V: "Put SAND not MEAT!! I never put meat!"

WTFFFFFFFF. Omfg.

I dont like one-word type of people (guys OR girls), zzz.

其实还挺想你

Leuven said I blushed,omg.

Announcement! "People people people!"

Until my mum pays my ever-bursting at the brim bill, my phone is now utilised as well as an ipod can go(well not its memory though*screwed face*)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, busted.

Temptation to message message message!!! Hands shaking, eyes going sideways, bipolar moodswings, tearing skin, peeling nails, indigo vomit bursting out from the ears OMG, withdrawal symptoms! Dammit. :B

I enjoy tuition very much when Grace's around. :DDDDDDDDDDDD

羊来了- 猜一种水果！
草莓（草没！！）
真白痴！！:D

Getting really bored with formalities. Ahhhhhhhhh. Daryl the rabbit goes bleep blop bleep.

ShaoQing's 18th!

OI! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SHAO QING! :D

I want to be

the one who'll say

"Everything's gonna be alright" & definitely will be. :D

阿肥回来了！！！:3

送给你的一首歌，

下个星期去英国- 陈绮贞

你收了行李下个星期要去英国
遥远的故事记得带回来给我
我知道我想要 却又不敢对你说
因为我已改变太多

你改了一个名字也准备换工作
你开始了新的恋情有一些困惑
我知道你想要 却又不敢对我说
因为你已改变太多　　

你写了好几首属於你的歌
这样的歌隐藏了太多苦涩
我知道你想要 却又不敢对我说
因为我曾是你 我曾是你
无话不说的朋友

因为 我们改变太多

明天可丽安回来了！！！(:

Fun-filled action-packed ultra thrilling day(Saturday)

It all started with me

meeting these three assholes for my surprise at 11am in the friggin morning & Brenda greeted me with her chocolate cake. :B Using induced psychology, the cake doesnt taste like danggui at all. Hmmmm.. :D


Apparently, their surprise backfired & they got surprised instead! Hehehe. *dont make your paiseh I keep mum* Went to eat my bloody breakfast at Yoshinoya(BEEF) & had this crazy woman taking pictures of the food. HAHAHAHA, ya lah who else but Tricia Tan. HAHAHAHAHA!

So we started going crazy on Cammy's smile dectector function.

There are many more but, Im kinda lazy. :P

INTRODUCING:

And we got bored waiting for the candy making part, so we bought intsy bitsy doughnuts to bite on first :B


Turned out nobody wanted to eat the lemon one (on your right), so Tricia ate half half, using the choclate one to wash away the weird lemon jam taste. HAHAHAHA

This is how they make the sticky sweets. :D Actually some lollipop lah:





And this part of the day ended with Brenda & I rushing for tuition at 1pm. Heh(fyi, my tuition starts at 12.30pm HEHEHEHE)

Part2___________
After a heavy downpour,
after getting pissed off with people who didnt want to share an umbrella with me knowing I was going to cross the road,
after I got embarrased by running halfway through the road leaving a slipper behind,
after shivering like mad in Modular trying to understand why some dumb Mathematicians want to make life difficult for us by introducing Plane Geometry in Amaths
& after running home to bathe & running back within 30minutes, I met up with Shermine, Brenda, Tricia, Vincent, Shermeen, Sean, Shaun, GaryTan, ZhangSheng, Elton & Desmond at 5.45pm to set off for Marina Bay Floating Platform. ;D


The journey there was totally stupid & I think I spoilt my own mood at that time. Anyhow, we reached after hell loads of camwhoring and seemed like forever. AND, SLAP-ASS LUCKY TRICIA, SHERMINE, BRENDA & I GOT THE CHOP SO WE COULD SIT REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NEAR THE STAGE! :DDDD (not very near but, at least nearer than the rest of them) Sadly, the LZXFC+JJFC+YanZiFC ran/tumbled/rolled/slide/glide/crashed/bombed like a bazooka onto the rest of the seats once the crew let the dogs out the rest of them enter the once-private area before we could call them to join us. ):

NOTICE THE EMPTY SEATS!!!

(after the leashes were unchained, scary experience sighhhh)

Derrick Ho!

Sun Yan Zi!

Lin Jun Jie!

Yang Zong Wei!

ENERGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! :DDDDDD

Lin Feng!

(insert name for me here)

Shi Xin Hui!

Luo Zhi Xiang!

(AND HIS FUCKING SCARY FC & PRICELESS LOOKS ON SHERMINE, BRENDA & TRICIA'S FACE HAHAHAHAHA)

(when he dances,)

(they scream & dance too)

(when he waves,)

(they scream & wave too)

HOW SUPPORTIVE OF HIS FANSSS!

& unevitable pictures of us :D HAHAHAHAHA

Chionged out of the platform at 10++ before getting overwhelmed by the stampede.

Part3___________

This was one part of the day I wish to forget. Anyhoo, walked down to Bugis with a bunch of people & Tricia, Vincent, Shermeen & I started steamboating.

(well, their freaking masterpiece, I swear I wasnt full!...yet.)

"Maybe we will stay still & no one will know we're here..."

S: "My bag smells great with prawn on it"

V: "I feel like puking"

S: "Aiya, dowan play with you alr"

V: "Ok lor, I play with my Penguin"

I think I look normal without my nose):

And the day ended with us going home at 2.35am after slacking at the MSCP. (:

Omg, I took 4.5hours to update this time.

(ignore the tags, max only 20-.- +Alson+WC)